A true test of friendship

And this, people, is how you know you've got friends for life...

Charlie: If you were a dinosaur would you take me for rides on your back and help me smite my enemies or would you just eat me?

Me: Does it have to be one or the other? I'm not about limiting myself generally.

Charlie: Mostly I just don't wanna get eaten

Me: Fair enough.

*I*, answering as me the human, says I'd totally be your dino-man. I'd let you saddle me (oh this is going to end well, conversationally) and give you rides and I'd be all about acting as the smiting hand of Charlie, with extra teeth. The only problem I'm seeing that we could encounter is that me, as dino-brain me, would start with the best intentions to offer the aforementioned rides and smiting but then get to my dino-body and go "Oh hey, there's ChAARRlIEEee. ShEE neeEEEds a rrRRiddDeeeE. WhAt's hAPPening to my VOICE and why DoES ShE LooOOk so DAMN DELICIOUS?! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" *om nom nom* 

Can't promise that won't happen but I can promise you that if I retain my human cognitive capabilities I won't let the beast consume me and eat you in the process :)

Charlie:... seems reasonable. I'll do my very best to look unappetizing and keep you well-fed with tasty people.

Me: That's a pretty good deal as far as I'm concerned because I think we both know that I'm going to struggle pulling chicks once I get to be a dinosaur. That and I'm not going to be able to get them in my mouth all that easy. Small arms and such.

Charlie: Maybe I could rig up some sort of around-the-neck hanging trough. A feed hopper full of hipsters.

Me: Oh my god yes!

Charlie: I'll even take their white belts and lenseless glasses off so they don't get caught in your Dino teeth. Because that's how good a friend I am. I care. You shouldn't eat people who care that much. Just saying.

Me: Oh bless, that's so sweet. You know how those glasses give me my indigestion and their belts just get right between my teeth. No, I think you're safe.

Charlie: YIPPEE!!

I totally want to make you special dino people-eating mittens now. 

Me: I think we just should go with the robo-claw extenders like that "unstoppable" picture. It's like the dino version of chopsticks really.