The following is a reenactment of a conversation that nobody should ever have...

23.06

Charlie Blowfly:

On wow if you wanna join for a lil bit

23:10

Priest:

Thanks but I'm seriously constipated and actually sitting on the toilet trying to let stuff happen. It's not. So I'm pretending to do something else like FB. I'm going to bed in a mo.

23:11

Charlie Blowfly:

Do the pooping stretches!

Makes your tummy muscles move about.

It’s disturbingly like the YMCA now that I come to think about it

23:11

Priest:

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't tried.

LOL

23:11

Charlie Blowfly:

And lift your feet off the floor

23:12

Priest:

Yep. Tried that too.

23:12

Charlie Blowfly:

Tried sticking a hose up your butt?

23:12

Priest:

And drinking more water but now I just feel bloated as well.

LOL. So not happening.

I drank a Dare today too. It's all going to come at once isn't it?

23:14

Charlie Blowfly:

Don’t knock it til you've tried it. Colonic irrigation is amazoring

OH GOD YES IT IS

On the plus side - you were planning on repainting your bathroom right? 

...just maybe not knocking out a wall 

23:14

Priest:

Let it pour I say!

The knocking out of a wall may hessian all on its own.

Happen ffs

Oh god I think something moved!

23:16

Charlie Blowfly:

Bounce up and down!!

23:17

Priest:

I love that tog can talk me through a poo baby.

23:17

Charlie Blowfly:

I'm apparently named Tog now too. That’s less awesome. I sound like a caveman

*pokes you with a stick* You make big poopy now.

23:17

Priest:

Was supposed to be you LOL

Oh the pike must have done it.

Poke what the Fucking Fuck

Apparently there area fish now.

Ok that's it. Auto spell, you're a homo.

23:19

Charlie Blowfly:

ROFL

Or polearms

Which might be more effective

They’d scare the shit outta me LOL

23:20

Priest:

I know right?!

23:20

Charlie Blowfly:

Gah I just got killed coz I’m talking you through a poop

LOL how do I explain THAT to my party? 

23:21

Priest:

Sorry. I'm done now. Go back to your game. Tell them a friend thought she was in labour.

23:21

Charlie Blowfly:

ROFL

Did everything... come out alright in the end? 

23:21

Priest:

Yeah. My poo is racist.

23:22

Charlie Blowfly:

Rofl

How so

23:22

Priest:

It's Black

23:22

Charlie Blowfly:

How is that racist?

Is it because your bum is white?

23:23

Priest:

I'm white and it wouldn't leave when I told it to.

23:23

Charlie Blowfly:

That’s just being a bad tenant. Talk to department of housing they've got lots of experience with black tenants not leaving when told

... damnit now *I'm* racist.

23:24

Priest:

Don't ask me to be all logical and stuff this time of night. I just gave birth for fucks sake.